Seeing the world differently in Bendum

Rita Guerra

I come from a bustling, fast-paced city where it seems nobody has time for anything. We rush to catch the train, to meet a deadline that was due yesterday, to go to the gym and achieve the body that society expects of us. We’re constantly on the run, as if being busy is synonymous with living well.

I live in an increasingly individualistic society, where everything has become disposable: clothes, the latest mobile phones and, often, even human relationships. It’s easy to swap, buy, throw away and move on. Everything seems replaceable.

But, at the end of the day, I ask myself: who is truly happy? Who has time to look around and see if a neighbour needs help, if a friend is all right, or simply to be there for their children, parents or grandparents?

We go through life convinced that there isn’t enough time for everything, that success is measured by what we produce and accumulate.

And amid all this rushing about, there is little room left to ask what is perhaps the most important question of all: am I in the right place? Am I being true to my calling? Am I putting the gifts I’ve been given at the service of others?

We often choose the path that offers the most security or the most money, even if that means giving up what would truly make us happy.

That is precisely why Bendum made such an impression on me.

I realised that regardless of language, culture, education, family or social background, at the end of the day, we are all the same. We all have dreams, fears and insecurities and, above all, we seek to love and be loved. That is what unites us. But I also realised what truly sets us apart: freedom.

Until then, I believed that we are all born free. That God had given us that power. The power to choose who we want to be, where we want to go and what direction we want our lives to take.

But in Bendum, and throughout these months of travelling through Asia, I realised that this is not the case. Freedom is not the same for everyone.

What separates us is not our language, our religion or the colour of our skin. What separates us is freedom of opportunity – financial freedom, freedom of access to education, freedom of choice, the freedom to decide which course we want to study, which career we want to pursue, and what kind of life we want to build.

It was whilst talking with the teachers at the school, and after everything I experienced during that week, that I truly understood the meaning of freedom. I realised that freedom goes far beyond simply living in safety. True freedom is the ability to choose.

In Portugal, and across most of Europe, we grew up taking this freedom for granted. It is so much a part of our lives that we no longer even notice it. We can choose the course we want to study, change jobs, start afresh, say yes or say no. We can fail and try again. And perhaps because we never had to fight for this freedom, we end up failing to value it as it deserves.

That was when I began to ask myself questions. Inevitably, I asked my family and friends in Portugal too.

How do we make use of this freedom we are given? Are we true to the abilities we are given? Are we true to our calling? Do we fight for it, or do we let ourselves be led down the path that seems safest? What holds us back? Fear? A lack of courage? Other people’s expectations? Money? Status? What are we all really looking for?

Above all, I began to encourage myself and to be not afraid – of ourselves, of that path, of other people’s expectations, and of failure. Because we will fail. How wonderful to have the opportunity to fail, fall, start again, and change direction, and say no.

It was also in Bendum that I truly realised what social lottery means. Although we all have dreams, unfortunately we do not all have the same tools to make them come true.

It was a realisation that was hard to come to terms with as it left me, in a way, feeling angry with the world. It angered me to realise how the major powers make decisions, how resources are distributed across the planet and how, so often, it is money that speaks loudest. It made me question the way we look after our shared home and the impact that the choices made in one part of the world have on life in another.

I left Bendum with far more questions than answers, but deeply grateful to have experienced all of that and to be able to ask questions. Because however uncomfortable that realization was, it gave me a sense of awareness to which I hope I can remain true.

At the same time, Bendum stirred up a great sense of hope within me. As I looked at every child, every teacher and every person I came across, I realised that we all have a calling.

However, I also realised that finding that calling does not always depend solely on us. It depends on the opportunities we have, the people who believe in us, the education we receive, and the freedom to choose.

And that’s when the social lottery became even more evident. Because although we’re all born with enormous potential, not all of us are given the same tools to develop it.

But perhaps the greatest realisation was something else. I realised that, even when we have these opportunities, it is often ourselves who limit that potential the most.

Over the course of these months of travelling, I have come to realise that the greatest obstacle to our calling is rarely a lack of talent. It is the way we view ourselves. It is not believing that we are capable. It is our inability to look at ourselves with love and recognise the power that exists within each of us. It is constant comparison. It is comparing our worst to the best we see in others. It is not knowing how to accept our fragility, our shadows, and our grey areas.

I realised that, before we find our calling, there’s an even more important journey to undertake: the journey of trust. It’s about learning to look at ourselves with more love, believing that we are enough, and having the courage to live out that calling.

Because I believe we all have a calling. We all have something unique to offer the world and the challenge is in believing that we can live it out.

I have learnt to step back from my own perspective. What makes sense to me may not make sense to someone else. Because they were born in a different place, had a different upbringing, a different family, different friends, different struggles and a completely different outlook on life to mine. We will never truly know what another person has been through, how they feel or the baggage they carry on their shoulders. And it is this awareness that we all need to develop so that we judge less and listen more. In an increasingly divided world, where everything is black or white, I have come to realise that this is one of the ways to become more human and more empathetic.

I’ve also realised the power of curiosity – curiosity about another person’s life, their perspective, and the way they see the world. Because it is this curiosity that allows us to step out of our bubble and step into, even if only for a moment, another person’s reality. To try to see the world as they see it. To learn from them. To take with us the best of every person we cross paths with.

And perhaps that has been the greatest lesson of these past few months. Realising that, regardless of everything that separates us, it is always possible to be there. To love. And to make a difference.

Today I believe that one of the greatest acts of love we can offer someone is our presence. We go through life so preoccupied with what comes next, with the next task of the day, that we simply forget to be present. To look. To listen. And perhaps we should live with this intention: that, in every moment of our lives, the person standing before us is the most important person in the world. Because that is where connection is born. That is where the other person feels truly seen, heard and loved.

Bendum was, without a doubt, one of the experiences that has had the greatest impact on me so far. It made me look within, look at others and at the world through different eyes. It awakened in me an even greater desire to do more and do better, to grow and to make a difference.

It made me realise that I have a calling. It shed light on it. It gave me the courage to follow it. And, above all, it planted a seed within me that I hope to nurture when I return to Portugal. I hope to remain true to all the very special people I met in Bendum, because, in one way or another, they also helped me to discover myself. For their sake, I want to make the most of this freedom I have been given, and I pray that, one day, they too may experience it to the same extent.

I am eternally grateful for the warm welcome you gave me. On the other side of the world, you made me feel loved and at home.

Rita Guerra, along with her friend Rita Fuentes, are from Portugal and volunteered for a week in APC, from 24 June to 1 July 2026. They helped in bringing books to the APC connecting schools and assisted in the activities of the crèche, bamboo processing, and construction of the bamboo-covered basketball court.

Rita Guerra recently finished her master’s degree in management and was awarded a scholarship from Gap Year Portugal that allowed her travel for seven months in Asia (India, Nepal, the Philippines, Indonesia, Kyrgyzstan, and Laos) where she will stay with a local community and do volunteer work and learn about people’s stories and their struggles.